This post is part of The Sling Diaries, Vol. II Over the next six months, fifteen bloggers around the world are chronicling their adventures baby-wearing. Welcome to all those who have popped in!
I want to tell you of my delight when I am wearing Albie. But to tell you how high my heart soars, I have to tell you about some altogether more weighty stuff too.
It’s still hard to tell. How fast my eyes fill, how choked my throat becomes. You see, Albie’s heart stopped in August. He existed on a machine, in a space between life and death, for four long days and nights. We just about lost him, and then he came back. That he came back is phenomenal – that he returned with almost no brain damage is nothing short of miraculous. It’s changed us forever.
So delight in this life is kind of all-encompassing right now. It rushes over us – great tidal waves of gratitude in what we have. I want this feeling to stay with us – I want to remember that carrying my child is a privilege that wasn’t given lightly. But I equally want it to leave us be. Because in the ebb of such a powerful flow is the terrifying knowledge that life is not guaranteed. This sometimes tips my even keel. And so as high as some posts get on here about this life, on occasion, I have also been getting equally low. How I wish I could write then too, and tell you how much grief got wrapped around this love. Maybe one day I will build the courage.
Thankfully, time is a healer. And as our young family moves further and further away from that winter, the shadows are leaving us too. And there in the sun is Albie. A 20 month old toddler who has no need to mix with all this gushy sentimentality either. His joy in the world drags me into the present moment, over and over again. Reminds me of the true and real delight to be had, in each and every moment. His joy is contagious and it refuels me.
His shonky heart pressed to mine, we walk together in the sun, and I make a new peace with this world.
This is our delight.
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I wear Albie in a Sakura Bloom Simple Silk sling in Midnight.
Organic cotton Refraction Frock by Starfish
Huge thanks to our lovely friend Jason for the photography. Check his work out on The Daily F Stop.