This first month with Freddy has been breathlessly easy. Don’t get me wrong, of course I am chained to the couch feeding him, and he has me up multiple times a night, and it is a mighty juggle when Albie and Fred are home together.

But it is the  normalcy of  that, that is a true JOY.

Fred sleeps and eats. Both with gusto. He’s been putting on weight like nothing else – 450 grams in just one week. I write those numbers with total incredulity. You see Albie at this age, had the sleeping thing truly sorted (simply because he was exhausted), but many of his feeds were far too short to keep anxiety at bay.  A really good week for Albie would have seen just a 50 gram gain. So tears of joy welled when Fred got weighed at home. For the first time, a baby of mine has grown, just as they should, without a tube on their face.

The comparisions between Albie as a baby and Fred come thick and fast at the moment and fill both me and Marcus with an appreciation – not only for this present where everything is so blessedly different, but also for our past selves. How well we did back there. I want to go back in time to my stretched-to-the-limit self and give us all a round of high-fives.

Actually, let me stop right here and pass out a high five right now to any heart mum reading this. You are awesome.

Walking down the street, catching the bus, going to the beach, cafes, libraries. Visits from family and friends that don’t involve bunches of grapes, overwrought hugs and the squeezing of hands. All the things we craved for from our room in Starship. All here and now.

And Fred? Bright blue eyes, a roll of fat growing on his legs, squashable cheeks. The most healing of babes. Who may yet show us other colours but is so far a very content wee boy. I am not exaggerating when I write we are yet to hear his full-blown cry.

And Albie? Is far more interested in painting the windows, or riding his scooter than holding his new brother for a photo. Much to my frustration.  There is brotherly love there already though. When he runs through the door at the end of the day it is to Freddy and not me that his feet now take him.

The Hopkinson Boys. I have a feeling the adventures are really only just beginning.

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(breathlessly easy, save for the bit about my c-section continuing to bleed for two weeks, and needing to get readmitted to hospital to have it re-opened, drained, and get some IV antibiotics. It was an uncauterised blood vessel apparently. and they left the section open to heal from the inside out. But who wants to hear about that? Not me! )